holding hands

he now holds my hand | hair cut + shave day on Flickr.

In the last few weeks, my father has accepted my hand to help stabalise him when he walks. Now that he’s struggling a lot with his heart condition, atrial fibrillation/ arrhythmia, he’s even more dizzy and weak. I’ve found him to be unwilling to getup sometimes, until I offer a hand. He now holds onto my hand and won’t let go even when he’s safe to do so.

It’s such a change in relationship, when my father rarely even offered to hold my hands when I was a little girl. It felt awkward at first due to us never having that kind of contact.

This visit found us walking hand in hand slowly, at his pace, down hallways when I take him downstairs to the garden to eat the take out lunch I bring. Each time I see him, he seems to be another increment more faded. It’s moving so fast.

Bittersweet moments seem endless these days.

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