It’s weird how the human coping mechanism works. Realized Sunday evening, after returning from a visit with dad, that I am feeling completely overwhelmed, and likely have been for weeks. How does a body hide this? Explains the 6-8 weeks bout of insomnia :/ It took some bad news about dad’s condition to break the straw, so to speak. He’s still only eating close to well and without too much fuss when I’m there. Seems that I’m the only one able to work with him. He’s also not been taking his medications. I managed to coax him to get blood pressure taken and weighed in. He has lost about 10 lbs in the last two months of this new phase he’s going through 🙁
It has been frustrating and saddens me. But I accept that this is how it is. I cope and move forward. I don’t feel overly stressed, and so I couldn’t understand why I could sleep less and less and start to function worse and worse.
I seem to hold on to make sure I function; I do cry when I feel emotional about a situation, but it’s short lived. Sunday I broke down, had a few good cries, thoughts and feelings emerged while I did and then I felt that wondrous sense of sleepiness, and that my body felt less heavy. That night, I finally got more sleep than 3 – 5 hours at a time… I got 8 🙂 The insomnia has been broken.