reality vs. reality. what is important.

Dad is exhibiting further changes, minute as they are, they are hugely affecting me emotionally. He just called me and demanded to know who the US president is, which I told him Obama, knowing well this probably wasn’t going to sit well with him… for the last two weeks, he has believed that Obama has stepped down or finished his term. The news has set the reality in, as with the wake of Japan’s devastation, Obama is in the news  more often, and my dad has seen him in broadcasts more than once today. Then he tried to ask me who my husband is. ‘I’m not married dad. perhaps you are remember my ex. J’. then what came out of his mouth next nearly broke me. He words started to slur and his voice was shaky, ’ I know who J is, that’s not him’. I could barely understand him. It’s like his brain literally reeled in confusion to the my reality vs. his. He then asked me if whether or not he went to Taiwan last night and came back this morning. I didn’t know what to say, so opted for, maybe you had a great vivid dream dad, that seemed real, I have those too. He continued to slur and babble trying to gain consciousness in a way, or grasp onto something. It was too late, I couldn’t say much to help. But he seem to insist he must have, so I let him have that, that he must have travelled in good speed and got back in time before the earthquakes struck. He seemed pleased with that and was a little less shaky sounding. sigh.

I guess this is the reality now. And a new round of mourning will begin for loosing another part of him, sharing his confusion and frustrations. :’( 

In every situation I try to look for something good, and what I’ve come up with is that, at least now, he can travel via his mind to Zhuhai and Taiwan as chooses to. He won’t feel so frustrated anymore with his urge to leave. And that IS a good thing. He’ll be safer.

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