Caring for a parent with dementia and alzheimers takes a lot more thinking ahead and vigilance then one with just a physical affliction. They can’t think for themselves, nor keep track when doctors decide to give them a new medication to take. I just found out my dad was prescribed a medication two weeks ago, for the last two weeks of him falling, loss of appetite, increased shakes and spasms are now finally explained. They are now clearly side affects of a drug he really should not have been prescribed when it heightens all of his problematic physical challenges. I’m simply flabberghasted by what seemingly is so obviously inappropriate could have come to pass. Two of the nurses who are truly good at what they do, also agreed, after I asked further questions and told them of my findings and concerns and my second opinion. They were also baffled as to how the doctors, GP of the home and the geriatric Psychologist could have missed this and crossed drugs that can heighten a patients conditions, esp when on another drug that is listed as ‘warning, should not be mixed’. I had to write a detailed email with my findings and quoting drug side effects facts to show them that I have grounds to request stoppage of this drug for my father. How can doctors be so careless and not think and ask family what might be going on for the patient?! They decided my dad was very depressed, but did they bother to ask what went on for the patient, just days before? Such as being overwhelmed by visiting family members he couldn’t care for and having just gone through suffering over 20hrs with fractured wrist, no sleep at the emerg and a cast put on. Can you imagine how you would feel, as a healthy adult, let alone having dementia and alzheimer’s??
I find these days, I can deal with the issue on hand calmly until it is resolved, like a survival mode, then I process and deal with all the emotional stress post incident. I already most often feel that it’s pointless to feel angry, but perhaps I shouldn’t try to diminish that feeling. It seems to be the only way though, in order to make sure my father is taken care of first, I must put all my other feelings aside… tho I’m starting to feel the toll it takes on me sometimes. Is there a better way? It’s hard when a caregiver is on their own as the sole provider.
However, there is one good news today, my dad has finally been submitted to the waitlist for the Little Mountain Place Care Home in Vancouver. This doesn’t guarantee him, but at least the process has been started, this too was a frustrating battle. The waitlist is currently 6 to 8 months, for a possible bed/room to open up. I made requests months ago, never hearing back, then this home I had requested almost 2 months ago, and due to short staff or other, it was never taken care of. Had I not called repeated and emailed to follow up, it was have fell through the cracks yet again. *Sigh* Today I simply feel frustrated and emotional, as I’m processing what has taken place, and feeling bad for my father having suffered for 2 weeks due to an inappropriate medicaiton that is weakening him and making him feel off (but he couldn’t tell me).
Maybe I need to take up boxing or scream therapy 😛