shared lunch

Weekly shared lunch with Dad on Flickr.

I received some news or updates finally after noticing what I consider to be huge changes in his behavior. For the last 3 weeks, I’ve noticed slower movements, dazed appearance, strangle walking gait/shuffling, labored breathing and that he choked while swallowing twice in my company. The nurse manager for my dad’s ward finally had returned and was able to go through his charts and push for more answers. The diagnosis: Transient Ischemic Attacks, it’s like a mini stroke, and teamed with a weakened heart, the future is very certain with dad having either major heart failure and/or stroke. The news upset me greatly, mostly emotional sadness, left me crying for half an hour or so. I realized during my outburst that it was really that I was feeling some sense of finality, his condition finally diagnosed after so many months or even years. It is a bit of relief in knowing what we are dealing with, but also sadness in knowing what’s to come, that he could have the big stroke or heart failure, and that it could happen any day now, as I have been advised. I always knew that realistically my dad will pass away, but it was always an infinite unknown thing, but now, knowing that it could randomly happen soon, makes it harder.

Via Flickr:
at the care home’s downstairs lounge room

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